The lines go by with varied speed,
The skylines treed
Then bare again
Like winter kin.
The clouds form highlights in the sky,
A softened sigh
With stars that light
The whispered night.
The windows on a car or train
Or boat or plane
Are like the Louvre
Because they move!
Artwork by Patual
For: http://withrealtoads.blogspot.ca/2013/01/marys-mixed-bag-windows.html
http://creativewriting.ie/writing-prompts/
More artwork: http://patual.deviantart.com/
Jan 04, 2013 @ 15:56:43
Nice poem and play on words with windows like the Louvre
Jan 04, 2013 @ 16:26:14
Thank you! I like that the Louvre is full of paintings and works of art and moving windows can capture many different pictures.
Jan 04, 2013 @ 17:32:28
Nice, I always want to capture the moving scene…my favorite one is the second one ~
Jan 04, 2013 @ 19:48:54
Thanks! I enjoyed your La Lunes as well
Jan 04, 2013 @ 18:56:38
I love the way you wrote about seeing through the WINDOW of a moving train and also how you evoked the Louvre. The last stanza made me smile.
Jan 04, 2013 @ 19:52:05
Thank you, Mary! I’ve never been to the Louvre, but it’s one of those sights I’ve always wanted to see
Jan 04, 2013 @ 19:33:32
Very cool!
Jan 04, 2013 @ 20:01:29
Thank you!
Jan 04, 2013 @ 23:17:55
What a creative vision…beautiful
Jan 05, 2013 @ 14:57:42
Thank you! I’m always up for a change of scenery
Jan 05, 2013 @ 00:37:16
Your imagination always enthrals me…very nice!
Jan 05, 2013 @ 15:04:51
Thanks! I try to combine experience and imagination in a blend of concrete fantasy
Jan 05, 2013 @ 12:20:22
“Bare again like winter kin” is especially striking……and I LOVE your title! I love the rhyming and the way your poem sifts down the page in such beautiful images.
Jan 05, 2013 @ 15:17:41
Thank you so much! I liked that line particularly for its multiple shades of meaning, and the title was a remark I made to some friends as we drove through the night. I noticed the moon was irregularly shaped (though similar to a half moon on its side with an extra angled slice taken off the corner). All of them laughed as we realized it was “a dad saying”–guess we really do take after our parents
Jan 06, 2013 @ 01:17:33
“A softened sigh
With stars that light
The whispered night”
This is soothing….
Jan 06, 2013 @ 20:17:54
Thank you! I find it often is remarkably peaceful to look out the window at the night sky
Jan 06, 2013 @ 12:42:33
i like the rhyme in this piece.
Jan 06, 2013 @ 20:21:18
Thanks! I like the Minute form; it has a nice varied cadence that works well to express many different styles. I’ll have to use it more often
Jan 06, 2013 @ 18:58:28
This is beautiful—especially the second stanza because it makes me happy.
K
Jan 06, 2013 @ 20:42:12
Thank you! Poetry is so often melancholy; I’m glad this one cheered you up