Remember when you kissed me?
Sixty years ago:
Memory’s the first to go.
Soft magnetic lips.
“Here’s something to think about”:
You leaned in and said,
For Judith Westerfield whose unique haiku started the ball rolling. And once it started it just wouldn’t stop. I told her that her haiku sounded reverse-engineered. When she asked what in the world that meant, I explained that it seemed to beautifully invert the common order of things. But then she got me thinking about what a reverse-engineered haiku would look like if it was a form :
“I think perhaps a “reverse-engineered haiku” (if it really WAS a form) would perhaps be three lines of 7-5-7 syllables? Or maybe would be written backwards? Hmm…might have to try one of those out.”
So this is my take on a reverse-engineered haiku. What’s yours?
Feb 04, 2013 @ 23:19:37
By george . . . er . . . by david . . . I think you’ve created a brand new genre. (all the traditional haiku’ers may not agree)
Love them, particularly the first one . . if I remember it correctly.
Feb 05, 2013 @ 02:26:23
Thanks!
Haha–it certainly doesn’t have to be a replacement, just a different breed. The 7-5-7 only has two extra syllables, so it still has a minimalist feel to it, if a different flow. I think reverse-engineered haiku might be too long of a name. Perhaps it could be called an “Ankh”. This would show the focus to be on an aspect of life (perhaps much like a senryu) and would also refer to the fact that it’s like a cross-section of a tANKa (5-7-5-7-7) What do you think?
Feb 05, 2013 @ 17:57:35
I think you should call it High Coup, Reversed Ordered. It deserves a contemporary name worthy of it’s rebellious nature.
ANKH is much much too pretentious.
And beside you wouldn’t want the “traditionalists” to stage a Ku.
Feb 05, 2013 @ 22:44:25
I like it–and I’m all about doing away with pretentiousness.
Feb 04, 2013 @ 23:21:12
P.S. “HIGH COUP”! – (I just did a double take!) PERFECT! PERFECT! PERFECT!
Feb 05, 2013 @ 02:27:08
Feb 05, 2013 @ 04:05:13
The first one is great! may be I will try this too.
Feb 05, 2013 @ 13:43:39
Thank you! I would love if you did
Feb 05, 2013 @ 14:14:19
Simply wonderful, WC. The idea is intriguing and I could try my hands too
Feb 05, 2013 @ 17:43:16
Thanks–please do! I would love to see other impressions of the form
Feb 05, 2013 @ 22:56:20
I very much like your pair. Lovely. The orderly disorder of timefurthers the narrative in each.
Don’t ask for haiku unless you want it…
Both are “real life” haiku.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Dessert ?” the kids ask.
“We haven’t had breakfast yet.”
“It is dinner time?”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Time for a diet.
“Your butt looks fine to me, dear.”
How do these pants look?
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Reverse engineered haiku? I wrote these two inside out. They can be read up or down or in a continuous time loop. The syllable count is the regular 5-7-5.
Feb 06, 2013 @ 01:18:21
Thanks! And I definitely wanted responses, so thanks for trying it out–these are great! Especially love the second one, haha. Not sure if there’s ever been a right answer to those types of questions. Man, these really do lend themselves to a mobius-style reading. Did I mention I love them?
Feb 06, 2013 @ 00:02:59
Whoa! I’m intimidated that Alice is upping the ante with her High Coup butt they look fine to me.
Feb 06, 2013 @ 01:26:25
Hahaha–she’s brought the heat. Don’t fanny the flames.
Feb 06, 2013 @ 13:20:46
Okay. Do you know how NOT funny you both are. “Fanny” the flames and “butt”. Both of you have some learning about how to answer the pants question. HINT: NEVER answer the pants question.;-)
Feb 08, 2013 @ 01:20:56
Sorry if you felt you were the butt of the joke–and yes, I think silence is often the best response (though even that can get you in trouble)