Talk is cheap—indoors at least
Where parlors beg for conversation:
A penny for your thoughts–
Many throw in their two cents,
But outside on the forest path
Where I am your free audience
As the crickets play their violins
And all the trees clap their hands,
In this public, private setting
Words become worth more than pictures.
So we abandon our houses and head to the sylvan city
With skyscrapers that scratch the sky with their leafy claws
And the London fog rolls in.
The luna lupus, queen of wolves, shines down,
Though even she prefers to shroud herself.
The forest holds us in its clenched fist
So tight I can’t see through the cracks in the fingers.
You become invisible, but for the crackling of the dead leaves
And the sound of your voice
Quietly breathing from your lips,
Blowing a wisp of cloud away, extinguishing the darkness–
Light filters down, slowly
Slowly
The woods expand:
Vision restored, but diminished.
The wooded wonderland, the color of antiquity
Is such contrast to the youthful silhouette beside me,
So perfect you could put it in a painting
Fountains
Jun 20, 2011 @ 15:26:34
Cute and clever title.
wordcoaster
Jun 20, 2011 @ 17:29:58
Thank you! I always try to make the titles as much a part of the poem as the poem body itself.
Fountains
Jun 20, 2011 @ 18:19:31
Well done! I admit, titles are a sticky situation for me. Do you often have a title in mind before you write the piece or does it come to you after it’s complete?
wordcoaster
Jun 20, 2011 @ 20:59:37
I don’t think I’ve ever written a title first. If I did, I don’t think it was a good poem. Usually I know somewhat what the poem will look like, but sometimes I don’t follow the plan. After I write a poem it sometimes takes another day or two to come up with a title, though other times it comes right away as a natural outflowing from the poem itself. I agree though that titles are a sticky situation, because they are the cloud that overshadows the entire body. Maybe I’m overanalyzing this 🙂
Fountains
Jun 20, 2011 @ 22:24:39
Well, if you are then I am, too! I am the one who asked the question, after all. Besides, what is poetry if not an overanalysis of sorts? 😛 Even with books, movies – it’s the title that draws me in so it’s got to be captivating. Siiiiiigh.
wordcoaster
Jun 20, 2011 @ 22:33:52
Yeah–I don’t judge by the cover, but the title is usually a good indication 😉
Fountains
Jun 21, 2011 @ 00:35:09
Agreed!
Jingle
Jul 18, 2011 @ 21:10:52
The woods expand
Vision restored, but diminished
The wooded wonderland, the color of antiquity
Is such contrast to the youthful silhouette beside me
So perfect you could put it in a painting..
very beautiful……….Cheers.
wordcoaster
Jul 18, 2011 @ 22:10:53
Thank you– this poem somehow surprised me by not coming out in rhymed verse, as most of my other poems are, but still maintaining a sort of poetic consistency that elevates it above the common-bound “free” verse that so often screams “Average”. (That’s not to say that much of my poetry doesn’t scream that–I just choose not to listen 😉 ) Anyway, thank you for your continued encouragement that keeps me blissfully unaware 🙂
dragonkatet
Jul 18, 2011 @ 21:12:17
This was REALLY a terrific poem. I loved the imagery you used in this and it fits the picture quite well. Well done! This is the best submission for the potluck that I’ve read so far. 🙂
wordcoaster
Jul 18, 2011 @ 22:14:24
Thank you so much! That is a huge compliment, considering that I’m number 100 in the potluck 🙂 (Although perhaps you started randomly with my poem :P) I’m so glad you enjoyed this and that the imagery struck you as it did me 🙂
J Sirrah
Jul 19, 2011 @ 10:49:22
A wonderful poem and full of expansion.
Well done 🙂
wordcoaster
Jul 19, 2011 @ 11:21:46
Thank you! Don’t know why, but this picture really struck a chord with me–it seemed almost to come to life, to expand itself. All I had to do was grab a pen and describe what I had witnessed (and then edit it heavily of course ;))
charlesmashburn
Jul 19, 2011 @ 10:55:27
Beautiful poem. Well written and full of meaning.
wordcoaster
Jul 19, 2011 @ 11:23:18
Thank you so much for your continued readership and kind words– they are a balm to the poet’s soul.
mindlovemisery
Jul 22, 2011 @ 08:57:07
The title reminded me of how much I love Haagen Daaz and how frighteningly long since I’ve indulged I suspect a trip to the grocery store is in order lol Your poem is gorgeous and since today is gorgeous I think I will take a walk!
wordcoaster
Jul 22, 2011 @ 09:24:55
Ice cream will most likely be my downfall 😛 Today is a beautiful day to stay indoors:
Cicadas shrill trill
Hundred plus five in the shade
Barely eight o’clock
–
But I hope you enjoy your walk immensely 🙂
clariice
Dec 04, 2011 @ 18:53:54
Loved it! It’s a fairy wonderland kind of feel. Similar to my fog piece – I enjoyed this line especially: Vision restored, but diminished
Excellent work!
wordcoaster
Dec 04, 2011 @ 19:38:52
Thanks! Yeah, I thought the two had that same magical vibe 🙂