HB



You are not number one
You are always second place
People only want you because --
 Thoughts of you are easy to erase

 .

You’re always available
You’re no rare breed
But unlike a fountain pen
When they cut you, you don’t bleed

.

I know you look so innocent
So fragile and so tame
But your insides are poisonous
Dark paintings in gold frame
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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kiran Bashir Ahmad
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 15:17:10

    I love the last line of this poem! So full of imagery. I’ve been having a look around your space here. Nice work! Good to meet a fellow poet. Have you published any yet?

    Reply

  2. wordcoaster
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 15:33:13

    Thank you! I wish there was more to look at, but every day I put up something new. I guess I wanted more of a gentle rainfall than a deluge of posts. No I haven’t published anything– do you think I should?

    Reply

  3. Kiran Bashir Ahmad
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 15:47:10

    Oh yes absolutely. Publications and good comments always help in wordcoasting ahead. Personally, I believe in quality rather than quantity. Some of your work looks like an impulse of the moment yet there are sparks of brilliance in between. For instance your last stanza here, is metrically sound and metaphorically rich. Somehow for me, your medium sized poems seem to work better than the shorter ones. If you have avenues to get your poetry published, even in a magazine / newspaper etc, go for it. Do read lots of good published poetry as well… especially contemporary work. Good luck. Look forward to reading more.

    Reply

  4. wordcoaster
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 16:21:59

    Hmm, I’ll have to look into it. As to the variations in quality–most of these are older poems that I wrote when perhaps I was less mature. Or perhaps I was more mature and it is my more recent poems that have devolved. I don’t think I know of any good contemporary poets (mostly read the tried and true poets of old), can you recommend some?

    Reply

  5. Kiran Bashir Ahmad
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 16:34:15

    Sure enough. I usually follow the English and Urdu poets in my country but I’ve seen some briliant work appearing in Japan as well (translations). You’ll easily find it all over the net. Haiku is a great medium.

    http://www.contemporarywriters.com/awards/ is a website that archives quite a few writers and i’ve often been able to google their names with interesting results. Let me know how you fare.

    Reply

  6. Kiran Bashir Ahmad
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 16:35:17

    http://www.poets.org/page.php/prmID/58 This is another interesting site.

    Reply

  7. wordcoaster
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 16:53:08

    Thank you so much! It’s rare to find this much help on the internet. I’ll let you know what I find. Hope you’ll continue to check back–perhaps you’ll be able to see some new influences in my poetry.

    Reply

  8. Kiran Bashir Ahmad
    Jun 17, 2011 @ 17:04:02

    Sure thing 🙂 . Stay in touch.

    Reply

  9. Mike Patrick
    Jul 27, 2011 @ 18:05:55

    Kiran was right, “Dark paintings in gold frame,” is a wonderful line. I can see it as a title of a poem. You have something, kinda raw, but there is talent here.

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Jul 27, 2011 @ 20:06:45

      Thanks! I’m loving your honest feedback–that WOULD make an awesome poem title. Hmm… I know most if not all of my poems demand huge revisions and editing, but I also have been posting an assortment, both old and new and not paying TOO much attention to the quality. Glad to know you can see talent even in my mediocre poems 🙂

      Reply

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