I Believe

18 Jun 2011 33 Comments

by wordcoaster in Metaphor/Simile, Poetry Tags: fabric of our lives, Poetry, sky

Victory and then defeat
At least that’s how it seams
Relief and grief woven together
In the quilt of last night’s dreams

Check out:

http://leckeresfuermenschundkatze.blogspot.com/search/label/PicStory

http://dversepoets.com/

33 Comments (+add yours?)

Trackback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 46 (June 16-22, 2011) | Promising Poets' Poetry Cafe
mitu
Jun 18, 2011 @ 15:44:20

loved your play with words……..very well written……….enjoyed reading it 🙂

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- wordcoaster
  Jun 18, 2011 @ 16:31:30
  
  Thanks! Glad you liked it.
  
  Reply
Leo
Jun 19, 2011 @ 14:37:07

well written! but does the grief come first, or the relief? 🙂

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wordcoaster
Jun 19, 2011 @ 17:17:39

Thank you! I think it depends. Perhaps a good dream happens first. Or perhaps the relief happens when you wake up, but the grief follows as you relive the dream.

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Jingle
Jun 19, 2011 @ 19:20:51

love the imagery ..well done.

Happy Father’s Day to Dads in your family,
You write amazing poetry.
Come joining poets rally week 46 today.
Cheers…
Blessings fly your way!
xoxox

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wordcoaster
Jun 19, 2011 @ 22:35:00

Thank you!
I think I just might do that.

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Fountains
Jun 23, 2011 @ 01:28:48

Simple, strong and relatable!

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- wordcoaster
  Jun 23, 2011 @ 01:31:36
  
  Thanks, Fountains! I really appreciate all of your feedback!
  
  Reply
Mike Patrick
Jul 27, 2011 @ 18:13:16

You have the makings of a very good poet. Have you looked into using meter? Simply writing iambic verse would make your work so much more powerful–at least, your rhyming verse, and almost everything I’ve read is rhyming. Just to let you know, I’m being rather critical because I believe you have something and can be better. Please don’t be offended. Do feel free to delete these comments. They are primarily to get your attention.

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- wordcoaster
  Jul 27, 2011 @ 22:03:24
  
  Thank you so much! I wish I had more knowledge about poetry–I have no training whatsoever in this area, though it’s definitely a passion. Though I know what iambs are, I find it difficult to implement such knowledge into a poem. I’m not very good at sensing where the stresses and unstressed syllables are when it comes to practicality. Usually I try to imitate some form and hopefully the meter will work itself out 😛 I’m not offended, I’m delighted–I love having this sort of wiser-poet feedback 🙂
  
  Reply
  - Mike Patrick
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 15:30:51
    
    I don’t know about “wiser poet input.” Let’s just say older poet. I’m relatively new to writing poetry, but I believe I can recognize talent when I see it. From reading Shakespeare, I’ve developed a feel for iambic meter. He wrote most of his stuff in iambic pentameter. Once you get the taDA taDA taDA down, it becomes easy. I still have to check the dictionary to be sure of the emphasized syllable lots of times. I always keep a dictionary program open while writing.
    
    Reply
    - wordcoaster
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 16:21:04
      
      Hmm…I read a lot of Shakespeare but my meter still usually goes TAda taDA TAda (all over the place) I’ll keep practicing (once I find the time) For now I’ve been posting older poems (or new poems that haven’t had time to better with age…and editing) But eventually I’m gonna produce a metrically sound poem. That dictionary idea is a good one, thanks!
      
      Reply
brian miller
Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:32:39

nice..they tend to go hand in hand…but when we look at the whole quilt hopefully we can appreciate the light all the more…

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- wordcoaster
  Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:47:57
  
  Thanks! Yes, the big picture is quite lovely even though lots of the individual brushstrokes are ugly 🙂
  
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zongrik
Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:35:23

great pun in there

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- wordcoaster
  Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:50:10
  
  Thanks! I won’t tell you all the quilting puns I know, but rest assured they would leave you in stitches 😛
  
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Heaven
Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:37:29

I like that contrasting emotions and life’s events are weaved together ~

Thanks for sharing this ~

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- wordcoaster
  Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:52:23
  
  Contrast makes the quilt interesting–you’re quite welcome! 🙂
  
  Reply
claudia
Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:51:11

i like the thought of a quilt woven of dreams where bits and pieces..both good and bad are woven together and in the end cover us..

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- wordcoaster
  Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:53:39
  
  Thanks! That is quite an image 🙂
  
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Victoria C. Slotto
Dec 10, 2011 @ 18:12:14

Just a wonderful piece woven effectively in few words.

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- wordcoaster
  Dec 10, 2011 @ 18:25:31
  
  Thanks so much! It seems my tongue is sharpest when I bite it 🙂
  
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the word bar
Dec 10, 2011 @ 18:29:41

Oh I’ve had dreams like that.. sometimes we have to lose to win..
well done…

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- wordcoaster
  Dec 10, 2011 @ 20:20:26
  
  Too true, but boy it still hurts, doesn’t it? Thanks 🙂
  
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Laurie Kolp
Dec 10, 2011 @ 19:28:01

Such a strong piece with so few words!

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- wordcoaster
  Dec 10, 2011 @ 20:21:04
  
  Thanks! Such strong encouragement with even fewer 🙂
  
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ManicDdaily
Dec 10, 2011 @ 22:02:32

This seams just wonderful to me. K.

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- wordcoaster
  Dec 10, 2011 @ 22:41:42
  
  You seem more than wonderful to me 🙂
  
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Nick Rolynd
Dec 10, 2011 @ 22:18:51

Short. To the point. And highly effective. Can’t really get much better than that.

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wordcoaster
Dec 10, 2011 @ 22:43:54

Thank you! “You…you fight good.” 😀

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Bodhirose
Dec 11, 2011 @ 01:45:45

Yes, there’s no separation between the two sides…no matter good or bad. You put a lot into this short write to make me think.

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- wordcoaster
  Dec 11, 2011 @ 02:44:39
  
  Wonderful! So glad you enjoyed it 🙂
  
  Reply