I Believe


Victory and then defeat
At least thatโ€™s how it seams
Relief and grief woven together
In the quilt of last nightโ€™s dreams

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33 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 46 (June 16-22, 2011) | Promising Poets' Poetry Cafe
  2. mitu
    Jun 18, 2011 @ 15:44:20

    loved your play with words……..very well written……….enjoyed reading it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

  3. Leo
    Jun 19, 2011 @ 14:37:07

    well written! but does the grief come first, or the relief? ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

  4. wordcoaster
    Jun 19, 2011 @ 17:17:39

    Thank you! I think it depends. Perhaps a good dream happens first. Or perhaps the relief happens when you wake up, but the grief follows as you relive the dream.

    Reply

  5. Jingle
    Jun 19, 2011 @ 19:20:51

    love the imagery ..well done.

    Happy Fatherโ€™s Day to Dads in your family,
    You write amazing poetry.
    Come joining poets rally week 46 today.
    Cheersโ€ฆ
    Blessings fly your way!
    xoxox

    Reply

  6. wordcoaster
    Jun 19, 2011 @ 22:35:00

    Thank you!
    I think I just might do that.

    Reply

  7. Fountains
    Jun 23, 2011 @ 01:28:48

    Simple, strong and relatable!

    Reply

  8. Mike Patrick
    Jul 27, 2011 @ 18:13:16

    You have the makings of a very good poet. Have you looked into using meter? Simply writing iambic verse would make your work so much more powerful–at least, your rhyming verse, and almost everything I’ve read is rhyming. Just to let you know, I’m being rather critical because I believe you have something and can be better. Please don’t be offended. Do feel free to delete these comments. They are primarily to get your attention.

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Jul 27, 2011 @ 22:03:24

      Thank you so much! I wish I had more knowledge about poetry–I have no training whatsoever in this area, though it’s definitely a passion. Though I know what iambs are, I find it difficult to implement such knowledge into a poem. I’m not very good at sensing where the stresses and unstressed syllables are when it comes to practicality. Usually I try to imitate some form and hopefully the meter will work itself out ๐Ÿ˜› I’m not offended, I’m delighted–I love having this sort of wiser-poet feedback ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply

      • Mike Patrick
        Jul 29, 2011 @ 15:30:51

        I don’t know about “wiser poet input.” Let’s just say older poet. I’m relatively new to writing poetry, but I believe I can recognize talent when I see it. From reading Shakespeare, I’ve developed a feel for iambic meter. He wrote most of his stuff in iambic pentameter. Once you get the taDA taDA taDA down, it becomes easy. I still have to check the dictionary to be sure of the emphasized syllable lots of times. I always keep a dictionary program open while writing.

        Reply

        • wordcoaster
          Jul 29, 2011 @ 16:21:04

          Hmm…I read a lot of Shakespeare but my meter still usually goes TAda taDA TAda (all over the place) I’ll keep practicing (once I find the time) For now I’ve been posting older poems (or new poems that haven’t had time to better with age…and editing) But eventually I’m gonna produce a metrically sound poem. That dictionary idea is a good one, thanks!

          Reply

  9. brian miller
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:32:39

    nice..they tend to go hand in hand…but when we look at the whole quilt hopefully we can appreciate the light all the more…

    Reply

  10. zongrik
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:35:23

    great pun in there

    Reply

  11. Heaven
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:37:29

    I like that contrasting emotions and life’s events are weaved together ~

    Thanks for sharing this ~

    Reply

  12. claudia
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 17:51:11

    i like the thought of a quilt woven of dreams where bits and pieces..both good and bad are woven together and in the end cover us..

    Reply

  13. Victoria C. Slotto
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 18:12:14

    Just a wonderful piece woven effectively in few words.

    Reply

  14. the word bar
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 18:29:41

    Oh I’ve had dreams like that.. sometimes we have to lose to win..
    well done…

    Reply

  15. Laurie Kolp
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 19:28:01

    Such a strong piece with so few words!

    Reply

  16. ManicDdaily
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 22:02:32

    This seams just wonderful to me. K.

    Reply

  17. Nick Rolynd
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 22:18:51

    Short. To the point. And highly effective. Can’t really get much better than that.

    Reply

  18. wordcoaster
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 22:43:54

    Thank you! “You…you fight good.” ๐Ÿ˜€

    Reply

  19. Bodhirose
    Dec 11, 2011 @ 01:45:45

    Yes, there’s no separation between the two sides…no matter good or bad. You put a lot into this short write to make me think.

    Reply

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