Jailbreak


Hands on the fence

Suspense

Suspense

The whistle blows

And the two foes

The distance close

The air is rife

With anger and strife

For death or life

Hangs in the balance

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42 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. poetryroad
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 08:48:00

    I immediately thought of the Casey Anthony trial for some reason! Love this fast paced poem with words that strike the chills in its reader!

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Jun 30, 2011 @ 12:31:20

      Hmm, actually hadn’t heard anything about the Casey Anthony trial until now–must have been living under a rock. I can see why this poem would conjure up thoughts about it: she’s been in and out of jail many times now, and now is facing the death penalty. Glad you enjoyed it!

      Reply

  2. kez
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 10:01:53

    wow short and very powerful ….thank you for sharing

    Reply

  3. charlesmashburn
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 12:29:16

    I could feel the tension of the one who was poised to run. Nice job!

    Reply

  4. Jingle
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 13:11:35

    love it,

    perfect in wording and image.
    smiles.

    Reply

  5. luna15
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 16:22:01

    wow brilliant write!

    Reply

  6. Kim Nelson
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 17:46:02

    Your frugality with words adds to their power. You vividly conveyed meaning, in brief. Kudos.

    Reply

  7. Jo Bryant
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 18:16:26

    So concise – this only serves to add to the power of the poem. Nice 🙂

    Reply

  8. jennirey
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 19:05:24

    I had a sense of old black and white films for some reason..A silent one. and your words rolling across the bottom of the screen..as the narrator.. Awesome job..

    Reply

  9. Andy
    Jun 30, 2011 @ 21:41:42

    This is a fast-paced poem. I feel the suspense. I almost want to say “Go, now!”

    Nicely done!

    Reply

  10. magher1
    Jul 01, 2011 @ 10:44:41

    Made my heart beat faster! Tense and the words really well chosen.

    Reply

  11. Classic NYer
    Jul 01, 2011 @ 17:06:23

    Wow… quick but potent. I like it. 🙂

    Reply

  12. thoughtsnotlost
    Jul 01, 2011 @ 17:46:19

    Awesome! Great action depictedin this one.

    Reply

  13. Charlie Parant
    Jul 02, 2011 @ 07:47:07

    I like the fast pace of this…makes me want to run.

    Reply

  14. mindlovemisery
    Jul 02, 2011 @ 11:34:50

    Intense and I agree with Charlie the pacing is perfect. Great job!

    Reply

  15. J Sirrah
    Jul 02, 2011 @ 17:21:29

    Bravo

    Reply

  16. Jacqui Binford-Bell
    Jul 03, 2011 @ 07:23:07

    very intense

    Reply

  17. Ector Ward
    Jul 03, 2011 @ 17:41:39

    Jolting imagery. Good word crafting. I enjoyed it.

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Jul 03, 2011 @ 18:51:05

      Thanks! I think a good poem can be like an unexpected speedbump–rattling and exhilarating at the same time. I’ve found that since I’m no good at handicrafts I have to try my hand at word crafting instead 😉

      Reply

  18. cinnamon blues
    Jul 04, 2011 @ 11:55:24

    Well-written, nicely paced poem.

    Reply

  19. Cindy Eksuzian
    Jul 05, 2011 @ 20:02:19

    Your picture is compelling, the camera’s a subtle jailing oppression and then you make a circle with the words “suspense and balance….” It’s hard to not feel locked up!
    Great work with so few words!

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Jul 05, 2011 @ 22:34:11

      Thank you! Glad you liked the picture as well–it is scary to me also. There is a sort of entrapment in the rhyme– a lyrical paranoia that creeps in through your ears and tingles your skin. Jail cells are pretty bare, so I tried to give this a sparse feel. Thanks again!

      Reply

  20. johnewordslinger
    Jul 10, 2011 @ 18:55:49

    powerful, and real, thank you, WS

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Jul 10, 2011 @ 19:13:44

      Thanks word-slinger! This is one of my less personal poems so in a way it feels less ‘real’, but I’m so glad that it connects with you in a more intense and powerful way. It’s hard as the author to objectively weigh a poem so it’s wonderful to receive feedback! Thanks again,
      WC

      Reply

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