As Eve was walking through creation
She struck up an innocent conversation
The conniving serpent, so seditious
Twisted God’s statements, made them fictitious
And said, “Taste this fruit, it’s so delicious.”
But at the core of his statement, at the root
He offered her much more than fruit
The serpent offered her divinity
Eve went off to share her glee
Adam accepted this gift so free
They both believed Satan’s dark lie
That they would not both surely die
Why shouldn’t they know as God doth know?
Why should He stay above, and them below?
In two bites they devoured the status quo
I hope the fruit at least tasted sweet
You gave up everything for that treat
No more intimate walks with God
Thorns and thistles grow where you sow sod
Immortality?Β NoβFiring squad!
From this garden whence they enjoyed perfection
Immediately they faced ejection
No more snacking from the tree of life
Fated to live with hardship and strife
Enmity between husband and wife
It’s something I’ve always subconsciously resented:
This tragedy might have been prevented
As they both fell prey to the serpent’s kiss
They should have but remembered this:
Ignorance is bliss
dswan2
Jul 24, 2011 @ 16:47:23
What a pleasant blog site! Easy on the eye and easy to read! And the poetry ain’t bad, either! Loved this one. My favorite line; “In two bites they devoured the status quo.”! The Bible condenses its narrative so much that we are left to wonder what else happened. Had to have been written by poets!!
wordcoaster
Jul 24, 2011 @ 17:10:57
Thank you so much! My biggest concern with the blog (other than the content itself, of course) is readability, so it’s very reassuring to know that it is readable π That’s one of my favorite lines as well. Yes, the Genesis account is very poetic, so it lends itself well to adaptation. I think Milton would agree with me on that one π
Kim Nelson
Aug 08, 2011 @ 15:13:14
An interesting impression of mankind’s beginning. Your rhyme sceme is terrific.
wordcoaster
Aug 08, 2011 @ 17:55:30
Thank you! I laughed a little bit when I read “interesting” because sometimes I say that when i can’t think of anything positive to say π I enjoy taking on different rhyme schemes and this one seemed to match the flow pretty well π
charlesmashburn
Aug 08, 2011 @ 15:19:52
Wonderfully done. I’ve never tried making poetry out of scripture. You do it well!
wordcoaster
Aug 08, 2011 @ 17:58:39
Thank you! You should try it some time–I think you’d be good at it. Some time soon hopefully I’ll post another Scripture-related poem. If you want I can let you know when that happens. This one was kind of my version of Paradise Lost–much less verbose than Milton’s. Oh well, it is what it is π
mbwilliams
Aug 08, 2011 @ 15:33:59
Clever wordplay in this thoughtful poem. And a nice looking site btw π
wordcoaster
Aug 08, 2011 @ 18:01:41
Ooh thank you! Clever and thoughtful–quite a compliment and you threw in an extra cherry with your kind words about my blog! You, sir, know just how to make my day. π
PhotoDiction
Aug 08, 2011 @ 20:18:40
A wonderful little rhyme and take on the woes man brings upon himself. π
wordcoaster
Aug 08, 2011 @ 22:46:52
Thank you! Yes, so much is man-made these days–woes just happen to be in that category as well π
Jesse S. Mitchell
Aug 08, 2011 @ 20:31:23
had to be written by poets indeed.
Now I do know…so powerful. Good work indeed.
Jealous a little.
Rock on.
wordcoaster
Aug 08, 2011 @ 22:49:36
Wow, thanks π Compliments from you always mean so much because I truly admire the source–it’s nice to know that sometimes the jealousy runs both directions π
J Sirrah
Aug 08, 2011 @ 23:42:06
GREAT.
This based on a true story with a modern twist and powerful ending.
Well done Sir,well done
wordcoaster
Aug 08, 2011 @ 23:55:06
Thank you so much! So glad you liked the blend, especially the end π
Jingle
Aug 09, 2011 @ 13:07:03
lovely.
very fantastic imagery…
π
wordcoaster
Aug 09, 2011 @ 22:49:06
Thanks Jingle for your constant support π
The Noiseless Cuckooclock
Aug 22, 2011 @ 15:19:29
this is great.
thanks for sharing.
π
wordcoaster
Aug 22, 2011 @ 15:44:06
You’re welcome! Thank you for reading π
Irene
Aug 23, 2011 @ 01:58:29
Ignorance is bliss–I love the last statement! Wonderful read! π
http://softvoiceofafreespirit.blogspot.com/2011/08/birth-of-sin.html
wordcoaster
Aug 23, 2011 @ 09:49:26
Thanks! I like to put little twists like that in. Thanks for sharing your post as well π
Morning
Aug 23, 2011 @ 12:14:38
some times, yes,ignorance is a bliss.
well stated message, have fun in poetry picnic!
π
wordcoaster
Aug 23, 2011 @ 19:16:47
Thanks–I’m having lots of fun π