You Promised You Wouldn’t Do This

Cheeks red, eyes bleeding
Saltwater ribbons, clenched fists,
Stomp and fall to bits
And scream and flail on the ground,
Leaving is the hardest part


14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bodhirose
    Aug 21, 2011 @ 17:48:50

    Ooo, a tantrum… Never any fun! I love this.


  2. terri0729
    Aug 22, 2011 @ 10:01:48

    Marvelous! I loved it. I have read a lot of these today and I’m not sure at all that I did mine right nor is it of the same calaber. I guess I need a lot more practice 🙂 This really is very good! Peace and blessings, Terri


  3. West Lake
    Aug 22, 2011 @ 15:41:46

    some truth, powerfully said.


  4. Fountains
    Aug 23, 2011 @ 21:37:26

    The title makes this poem. ❤


  5. Mike Patrick
    Aug 25, 2011 @ 15:08:51

    This sounds like the first day of school. Great form.


    • wordcoaster
      Aug 25, 2011 @ 15:20:15

      Hahaha–I can see that! Thank God for patient teachers 🙂 As to the form–this is my first and only attempt (so far). It’s still strange to me, but I do enjoy it.


  6. The Gooseberry Garden
    Aug 28, 2011 @ 10:45:33

    smart tanka.
    well written sentiments…

    join poetry picnic week 2 tonight.

    thanks for sharing…


  7. Poets Rally
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 21:18:09

    clever form,
    keep it up.

    make 18 comments and let us know after you are done with poets rally week 55.’


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