Sleep on it (Good in tension)


The line traces the whole day
———In a fragmented haphazard maze
——————Of tripwires and deadends
—————————It pulls your skeleton together
—————————It deadens in the water
—————————There’s fire in the pleasure
—————————That whets the appetite
——————Dead eyes gather information
———Synapse snaps attention
Feeding in the dark
———Knowledge stifled
———Knifed and rifled
———Feelings rife
———With striving
—————————Screaming doesn’t cut it
————————————Don’t
————————————run
————————————with
————————————scissors

Taste the image
———Bear the burden
———Bury the warden
———Deep in the garden
———Beside the elephant
——————A trunk full of stolen goods
—————————A daughter on the run
————————————Police in hot pursuit
————————————Melting
————————————Under
————————————the
————————————Pressure
———————————————You make sense of nothing
————————————Because nothing’s making sense
Forget your premonitions
———Cover them with snow
———Let only whiteness show
———Amnesia’s way to go
———Pillow map this road

Photo by Olivia Bankard

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. brian miller
    Mar 21, 2012 @ 17:27:28

    ha…love the form in this…kinda marries well with the chaos…some really nice lines and i wont lie there are some days that putting your pollow is the best thing …to get to the next day…

    Reply

  2. Jannie Funster
    Mar 21, 2012 @ 17:57:55

    That is one brave photo!!

    was kinda dark and I felt a bit scared, glad you pulled me up at the end with teh pillow map.

    hope the daughter turns herself in. 🙂

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Mar 21, 2012 @ 23:55:48

      I’m definitely a fan of the photo. Yes, there is a swirling blackness that seems almost consuming, but there is that candle of hope at the end. So glad you caught all that, thanks! 🙂

      Reply

  3. Mary Mansfield
    Mar 21, 2012 @ 19:29:40

    Wow, gotta agree, love the form you gave this. Definitely fits the flow of the piece, the building tension. 🙂

    Reply

  4. skyraftwanderer
    Mar 21, 2012 @ 20:12:40

    That’s some well nice structural play. Works ever so well. Through in some frenetic language and running with scissors (loved that bit) and you’ve got a pretty awesome write.

    Nice work here. Most enjoyed.

    Reply

  5. claudia
    Mar 22, 2012 @ 01:20:28

    haha…what a roller coaster ride..the structure goes well with the words..underlines the action that’s going on…You make sense of nothing
    ————————————Because nothing’s making sense….ha…some days are just like that…

    Reply

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