Dawn Turns to Mourning


Today’s a day that instantly stays
With hands on shouting mouths, and all dismays
Two obstructions to sight now dirt in our midst
Charcoal in sky this star a cloud hidst
A corn crop burns and a million fast
Forward with Tivo and bury our past

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26 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. duncancleary
    Sep 11, 2011 @ 15:38:23

    Excellent.

    Reply

  2. anjum wasim dar
    Sep 11, 2011 @ 16:09:23

    We once had ‘A Night to Remember-It was the sinking of Titanic and now we have a Day to Remember’ This is even more specific because it effected the entire worl. Great lines specially ‘a millions fast”

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Sep 11, 2011 @ 16:51:37

      Hmm, I hadn’t heard of the “Night to Remember”. I guess it’s healing in a way that we do forget about such horrendous tragedies, but it’s also ignorant. At the same time, those not directly affected (especially this upcoming generation) feel no connection–it’s simply history. But for now the entire world (as you pointed out) has this trauma on their conscience and I think it’s appropriate that we remember it even if we wish we couldn’t. Thanks! πŸ™‚

      Reply

  3. Julian Javier
    Sep 11, 2011 @ 21:33:10

    a million fast. this is exquisite! nice write!

    here’s my entry
    http://crimsoncorvus.wordpress.com/2011/08/07/the-eyes-of-fire/

    Reply

  4. Sarah Johnston
    Sep 11, 2011 @ 21:38:11

    I think this is wonderful to remember this day and may I suggest that you go to Dverse and share this there
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/08/the-crimson-witch/

    Reply

  5. Shawna
    Sep 11, 2011 @ 22:50:59

    Great closing line.

    Reply

  6. brian
    Sep 11, 2011 @ 23:54:45

    wow. evocative piece for sure and very tightly spun…thanks for plugging in at dverse…and sarah for pointing you our direction…

    Reply

  7. fallenelegy
    Sep 12, 2011 @ 00:06:28

    beautifully written. but we humans like to dwell in the past πŸ™‚ so hitting the forward button would be hard. the past should be rectified for a better future. in this poem i see human failings, terrorism, starvation, pollution which all needs to be corrected. great poem.

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Sep 12, 2011 @ 08:58:52

      Thanks! Hmm… there are a lot of things in the past we dwell on, but I think many times we try to distract ourselves with the present and keep ourselves too busy to think. Thanks again for your kind comment–I’m so glad you were able to see so much in this small poem πŸ™‚

      Reply

  8. The Orange Tree
    Sep 12, 2011 @ 09:14:31

    very beautiful.

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Sep 12, 2011 @ 13:31:38

      Hope you don’t mind that I deleted one of your double posts. (Wasn’t sure if maybe you were saying it was very very beautiful in a non-cliche way) Thanks for reading and for saying twice nice things πŸ™‚

      Reply

  9. Mark Kerstetter
    Sep 12, 2011 @ 12:57:43

    “a million fast forward” – oh, how true. Yesterday I was in a grocery store. Someone came on the intercom babbling something about a moment of silence. No one listened, and the same voice came back on the intercom, I swear, less than 6 seconds later. Some moment of silence!

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Sep 12, 2011 @ 13:39:20

      Hmm… moments of silence are so powerful because of their rarity. In our busy world we rarely slow down enough even to sleep, so to collectively all pause, sigh, and think deeply in remembrance is really a foreign concept. Plus, if there is ever a moment of silence, it’s seen as a platform to grab attention; if you speak first you automatically have an audience. As a society of individuals we want our voices heard. Sometimes, though, we should prefer to listen. Thanks for sharing that anecdote–a lot of food for thought πŸ™‚

      Reply

  10. Bupinder Singh
    Sep 12, 2011 @ 14:05:17

    nice way to materialise you thoughts,…. i loved it

    Reply

  11. caridwen
    Sep 13, 2011 @ 13:23:48

    I really feel your anger towards the insensitivity of people to things like this – that they’re an inconvenience, rather than something to be considered and marked upon.

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Sep 13, 2011 @ 14:47:02

      Thanks–glad it struck a chord with you. You said it exactly: There is so much in life that we look on as a disruption, a pesky annoyance, that should instead be viewed with so much more gravity. Sometimes we need to live outside the present, because the present is not the only thing that matters. πŸ™‚

      Reply

  12. The Cello String
    Sep 14, 2011 @ 10:52:29

    smart.

    keep it up.

    Reply

  13. Ms. Queenly
    Sep 14, 2011 @ 16:46:38

    “Forward with Tivo and bury our past”–this line spoke to me and really gave a different meaning to the poem, which was at first rather mysterious. The brevity of the piece is filled with meaning and eloquence. ~MsQ

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Sep 14, 2011 @ 17:00:48

      Thanks! That line does bring a different focus to the poem, and I agree, it is much less abstract than the others. Thanks again for stopping by πŸ™‚

      Reply

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