You Had to Be There

I followed you outside,
My arms too full to play the gentleman
and hold the door for you

They say the world is a magnet–
I felt its pull crossing the grass
to a solitary table

We laughed about oranges and public art
As citrus juice splashed onto our flavored hands:
a ripe sticky mess

Your napkin left us long ago
Breeze-blown past zen tree
into the ragged wood

And as we traipsed back inside
I cursed my context-imprisoned mind–
you gave me another girl’s number.



30 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Claudia
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 01:46:03

    ugh…i didn’t see the ending coming after the carefree feeling of the middle part with laughing about oranges and public art…much liked this..


  2. darkangelwrites
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 01:57:25

    It was charming then thud 😦 Love when the ending catches me off guard.


  3. pandamoniumcat
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 04:21:44

    Charming is the right word, and pity about the phone number! Very muched enjoyed!


  4. Mary
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 07:45:35

    Oh dear, the ending was an unexpected surprise! (But often life happens that way!)


  5. Laurie Kolp
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 08:35:18

    So vivid… I especially like:

    Breeze-blown past zen tree
    into the ragged wood


    • wordcoaster
      Mar 02, 2012 @ 09:07:08

      Thanks! I was a bit unsure of those two lines, whether they fit the whole poem’s tone or not, but I realized the tone is really all over the place so I kept them 🙂


  6. Russ L
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 09:02:25

    Was the referral worth it?! 🙂


  7. brian miller
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 09:47:37

    oy great twist in the end…and that happens for sure….there is a nice dance in your words and you lul us in before pinching us at the end….


  8. Chazinator
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 19:42:38

    Why do they do that? 🙂 Your happiness in the company of this woman is quite charming. And your self-irony when she bursts the bubble, I know how you feel. A classic move, in an age-old game, I fear.


  9. Mara
    Mar 02, 2012 @ 20:07:54

    Ugh and double ugh on the ending. After all that “fun in the sun,” one is left with the “big ouch” by referring the guy to some other young lady.

    I was really drawn deeply into this poem. I enjoyed it greatly. 🙂


  10. Bodhirose
    Mar 03, 2012 @ 01:24:38

    I love those endings that take us by surprise…love this…you did it so well and took us off guard!


  11. ds
    Mar 03, 2012 @ 15:29:28

    Great twist. Such a carefree poem & then, WHAM. Thanks.


  12. HINES
    Mar 03, 2012 @ 16:06:18

    Ouch, my face hurts. I read it twice, so I knew the punch was coming the second time, and still got stung. I like when poetry does that. OF course the content is another story entirely- the one of my life (except I just get the referral and not the actual number). lol


  13. dswan2
    Mar 03, 2012 @ 17:59:32

    Looked over some of your poems and enjoyed them. Thanks for offering and thanks for visiting my page!


  14. Liz
    Mar 26, 2012 @ 16:18:24

    David! I love this! The ending was quite a shock, but true. haha.


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