High Coup


Down the Line

Remember when you kissed me?
Sixty years ago:
Memory’s the first to go.

Soft magnetic lips.
“Here’s something to think about”:
You leaned in and said,

For Judith Westerfield whose unique haiku started the ball rolling.  And once it started it just wouldn’t stop.  I told her that her haiku sounded reverse-engineered.  When she asked what in the world that meant, I explained that it seemed to beautifully invert the common order of things.  But then she got me thinking about what a reverse-engineered haiku would look like if it was a form :
“I think perhaps a “reverse-engineered haiku” (if it really WAS a form) would perhaps be three lines of 7-5-7 syllables? Or maybe would be written backwards? Hmm…might have to try one of those out.”

So this is my take on a reverse-engineered haiku.  What’s yours?

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16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. CreativitytotheMax
    Feb 04, 2013 @ 23:19:37

    By george . . . er . . . by david . . . I think you’ve created a brand new genre. (all the traditional haiku’ers may not agree)

    Love them, particularly the first one . . if I remember it correctly.

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Feb 05, 2013 @ 02:26:23

      Thanks! 🙂 Haha–it certainly doesn’t have to be a replacement, just a different breed. The 7-5-7 only has two extra syllables, so it still has a minimalist feel to it, if a different flow. I think reverse-engineered haiku might be too long of a name. Perhaps it could be called an “Ankh”. This would show the focus to be on an aspect of life (perhaps much like a senryu) and would also refer to the fact that it’s like a cross-section of a tANKa (5-7-5-7-7) What do you think?

      Reply

  2. CreativitytotheMax
    Feb 04, 2013 @ 23:21:12

    P.S. “HIGH COUP”! – (I just did a double take!) PERFECT! PERFECT! PERFECT!

    Reply

  3. Meenakshi Malhotra
    Feb 05, 2013 @ 04:05:13

    The first one is great! may be I will try this too.

    Reply

  4. readinpleasure
    Feb 05, 2013 @ 14:14:19

    Simply wonderful, WC. The idea is intriguing and I could try my hands too 🙂

    Reply

  5. Alice Keys
    Feb 05, 2013 @ 22:56:20

    I very much like your pair. Lovely. The orderly disorder of timefurthers the narrative in each.

    Don’t ask for haiku unless you want it… 🙂 Both are “real life” haiku.
    * * * * * * * * * * * * *
    “Dessert ?” the kids ask.
    “We haven’t had breakfast yet.”
    “It is dinner time?”

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Time for a diet.
    “Your butt looks fine to me, dear.”
    How do these pants look?

    * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Reverse engineered haiku? I wrote these two inside out. They can be read up or down or in a continuous time loop. The syllable count is the regular 5-7-5.

    Reply

    • wordcoaster
      Feb 06, 2013 @ 01:18:21

      Thanks! And I definitely wanted responses, so thanks for trying it out–these are great! Especially love the second one, haha. Not sure if there’s ever been a right answer to those types of questions. Man, these really do lend themselves to a mobius-style reading. Did I mention I love them? 😀

      Reply

  6. CreativitytotheMax
    Feb 06, 2013 @ 00:02:59

    Whoa! I’m intimidated that Alice is upping the ante with her High Coup butt they look fine to me.

    Reply

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Because Russ L asked

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